Subaru's Inner Heart
by Natz'RayDtha
Summary: What Subaru felt after Sakurazuka's gone...It'll be AU


AN: standard disclaimer apply. AU. Mistakes warning! LOL

Subaru's Inner Heart 

2003

Dark.

Whenever I open my eyes, wherever I rest them at, there's nothing…

A fun emptiness. Being drowned in the darkness is so fun. If this could be last forever, how fun…

Strange. In the time like this, I don't have tears, though my heart is broken until nothing left there. Who did say that if the heart was hurt, the tears would surely flow?

I'm just quiet in the silence. No talking even whispering even moving an inch. Only seeing to the unseen far with my empty eyes. Actually I don't want to live again. But being like this is enough. This silence is enough, to make me becoming like die. Same with you. I just want to be like you…

This place give me a reaction. Suddenly, sakura petals are falling down. I don't know from where. The sakura without trees. Then views appear around me. Now, my empty eyes are being moved at them.

I shut my mouth up. But honestly I want to jump happily. There's you in the views. The smiling you. The laughing you. You that tempt me. And you that stare me with your cold yet beautiful eyes. 'I''m also in the views. So is Hokuto-chan. Though it's just memory, this is too fun.

I feel relieved. This is too fun.

Now, it's only you in the views. Sakurazukamori. The real you from Sakurazuka clan. I don't know what you are saying, because the silence doesn't want to disappear. I want to hear you.

A?

That's me. That's me in the views. The real me from Sumeragi clan.

My heart is hurt. Why? Why did we have to fight as foes? Truthfully I don't want to become Onmyouji, even Sumeragi clan. Don't you too? Right?

'Me' and you are fighting in the views. You're strong. A very strong foe. How could I…you…?

'I', in that visible views, stabs your chest with 'my' own hand…

"**DAME!**" (don't)

The scattered view becaomes sakura petals that fall down. A, the other views!

I turn. There're 'me' and you in the other views. You are drawned by blood. 'My' hand is drawned by blood, your blood. This memory is more painful.

"**YAMETE! YAMETE YO!**" (stop)

That views are scattered by me then become sakura petals that fall down.

Stop…

Please stop…

I return to my quietness in the silence, holding tightly my trembling knees with my trembling hands. Only seeing the unseen far with my empty eyes.

Eventhough I've seen the views, this tears still don't fall down. Can't or Don't want to? I don't know. It's really a lie when the heart is hurt, the tears will surely fall down.

The pentagrams is far long gone from this hands. Though I'll be hunted by you, I want to get them back. But that' will be meaningless.

Times ago, I killed you. But that's only because you were from Sakurazuka clan. The dark clan!

I…don't want an end like this. I want you died. But not like this. Not like this!

"Yamete…"

Mou dame…

Seishirou-san, take me. Hokuto-chan, take me. Please take me from this place. I can become mad. I'm going crazy! Someone, help me! Please help me!

Vaguely, there's a silhouette approaching me. It becomes clearer in front of me. He stopps. Aa…He talks to me. The way he talks is so polite. This isn't the illusion that is made by the spell from this place, right? Because it's too damn real.

Eventhough he talks carefully, gently, and clearly, I only understand a little of what he's talking about.

Eh!

You say that you and me are same?

Having a place like this?

Losing beloved people?

What do you know about me?

Why?

Why can yo come to my place?

How?

What do you want?

This place…

This place can't be visited by other people. This place is mine. Why can you come in? Why?

"Anata… dare?"

That's the only words escaping my mouth. He smiles. What's making you smile? Who are you?

"Kamui…"

I'm surprised.

Kamui? Dark Kamui?

It means he is the other Kamui. Dragon of Earth.

"Doushite koko ni iru no?"

"…"

"Doushite koko ni iru no?"

Again, Dark Kamui only remains silent considering my question.

Why are you here? It isn't a difficult question, right? If that's so, come on and answer!

"Kimi no tame ni…"

What…? What did you say?

For my sake…? Do you want to help me? But why? Because we're same? Is that the only reason?

"Ikou ka."

He turns then walks away. His back looks vaguely in my eyes. I don't know whether it's because the sakura petals that keep falling down or…because of this tears.

Tears? I have tears?

Seishirou-san…

That person said he would help me. But surely it's not only the reason he came to me. He wanted other things from me. But I don't care. Didn't he say he wanted to help me?

I want to…

"Hai."

DIE.

-owari-


End file.
